Pool Picks from a Non-Pool Guy

May 21, 2024

I’m not a pool guy.

I really never have been a pool guy in my adult life. I know how to swim. I’m actually a pretty strong swimmer, but I don’t do much pool lounging. There are several reasons for this, but let’s condense it down to two main factors: obesity and heat. They could both be rendered down to the first one really. If I wasn’t so ample, I probably wouldn’t get so blasted hot. Yes, I’m still 90lbs lighter than my heaviest weight, but I am still a large mammal, and no one needs to see that.

With those preliminaries out of the way, let’s talk pools. While they might not be my thing, they are an integral part of the Walt Disney World vacation experience, especially if you have little kids. I learned that back in 2016. Disney has poured millions of dollars into some of the most cutting edge attractions on the planet. Imagineers have designed these experiences to titillate every one of your senses and transport you to lands and adventures that you could previously only dream about, and my kids wanted to go back to the value resort’s toddler toilet to frolic. I put three months of my salary toward showing these ungrateful heathens the STINKING MAGIC AND THEY WANT GO BACK TO MOTEL 6 AND SPLASH AROUND IN A PETRI DISH.

Sorry, I still get a little worked up about the priorities of preadolescent humans. The point is kids love to swim. A majority of them would rather be in the resort pool than riding Dumbo or watching Happily Ever After, no matter how ludicrous that sounds. Disney is aware of that fact, and they have done a fantastic job at plussing their resort pools. The pools on property have some incredible theming, storytelling, and ambiance. Even the afore mentioned value resort pools are pretty flipping cool. So let’s take a look at a few from each category. Full disclosure, I have been in one Disney pool in my life, so my takes are based solely on aesthetic and wow-factor.

on aesthetic and wow-factor.

Value:

Hippy Dippy Pool – POP Century

This is the only pool in which I have been. I actually really dig the atmosphere of this one. I love the huge icons on the buildings surrounding the pool area and the footprint of the pool itself. The water jets shaped like flowers really do give it a “free love” 1960s feel. Admittedly, there is quite a bit of nostalgia attached with this entry because this was the 2016 trip that ignited my love for Walt Disney World. We left the parks a little early every evening of the trip to get some pool time and the kids loved it. It didn’t hurt that this trip was at the end of July and beginning of August, so it was sweat shop hot in Orlando. There is also a twinge of bitterness about this pool. Because my kids were clamoring to go back to the resort to swim, I missed what I discovered would be my only opportunity to ever see Illuminations. Grrrr.

The Big Blue Pool – Art of Animation

I’ve seen all three of the All Star resorts’ pools, and the theming is pretty great for value resorts (especially that Three Caballeros pool!). But I have to give the nod to Art of Animation’s Big Blue Pool. It’s huge! It’s the single largest hotel swimming pool on property. The undersea theming laid against the resort’s Little Mermaid section is top notch. It’s no accident that both value pools I picked are on the Skyliner route either. That thing is a game changer. The Drop Off pool bar is great. Plus they play music under the water!!!

Under

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Moderate:

The Dig Site Pool – Coronado Springs Resort

Have you ever been to a Holiday Inn Express? Sure you have. Have you taken a dip in their pool? Sure you have. WAS THERE A MAYAN PYRAMID WITH A WATERSLIDE IN IT? I DON’T THINK SO! Seriously, how cool is this pool?! The pyramid is the weenie here, but the rest of the theming is next level as well. All of the Mayan ruins that surround the entire pool area create such a unique space. Siestas Cantina is not the strongest competitor in the pool bar category, but with six (6?!) lounges in this resort, we’ll give it a pass. The wow factor for this pool, especially that initial reveal, is outstanding.

Fuentes del Morro Pool – Caribbean Beach Resort

As immersive as the Dig Site Pool is, this one might have it beat. This pool complex at Port Royale at Caribbean Beach Resort is sprawling, includes two different waterslides, and is themed like a Spanish fortress. Kids with a penchant for swashbuckling in their playtime will be over the moon with this pool. There is a very cool shipwreck splash pad area with mini slides, a crow’s nest, and water cannons everywhere. In juxtaposition of Coronado’s pool bar, Banana Cabana is one of the top tier pool bars. This pool is jaw-dropping for any Disney resort, let alone a moderate.

Deluxe:

Stormalong Bay – Disney’s Yacht & Beach Club Resort

Yeah, let’s get the low hanging fruit out of the way. This isn’t a pool, it’s a waterpark. A monstrous slide, a zero entry pool, a sandy bottom pool, a lazy river, a top notch pool bar in Hurricane Hannah’s, this place has it all. It’s three acres y’all! It has three whirlpool spas and an elevated tanning deck. There is also the Shipwreck pool which is the splash pad area for the littles with its own smaller slide. Honestly, Disney’s Yacht Club and Disney’s Beach Club are nice enough I guess, but this pool complex is THE reason to book at one of these resorts. You will not be bored on a rest day or even a resort-only stay. Because of the popularity of this pool, there are events, DJs, games, and trivia happening constantly here too!

Lava Pool – Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort

I could have gone with any number of pools for my last entry. The Beach Pool at Grand Floridian is fantastic. The Samawati Pool at Animal Kingdom Lodge – Kidani Village is impressive. Shoot, Copper Creek Springs pool almost made it simply because, technically, Geyser Point IS the pool bar. However, Lava Pool is getting the nod here. The tropical aesthetic calls to me. The waterfalls and rockwork are stunning. The views into Seven Seas Lagoon don’t hurt at all either. An upper echelon water slide and a flippin’ volcano put it over the top. The Tiki Kiki’s splash pad area that is themed wonderfully. Barefoot pool bar is more than adequate. And that Polynesian background music loop is exquisite. While I have never been in this pool, Brandi and I sat out in the Trader Sam’s Tiki Terrace area whilst waiting to be called for the Grog Grotto. The more I took in from this pool area, the more I loved it.

My vacation style has never been “bake on a beach”. I actually like to need a vacation when I’m done with my vacation. Even when we went to Hawaii a few years back, our beach time was limited. I wanted to see sights. I wanted to parasail. I wanted to go to a luau. I’m just not a lounge by the pool kind of person. Especially when it’s so humid it feels like I’m breathing soup. However, if you have littles and you’re going to Walt Disney World, you’re probably going to have to carve out some pool time. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to scope out the pools and pick a resort that caters to your family’s pool needs. Being a few short years from empty nesters, I hope our mandatory pool time is so much dust in the wind!