Bubble Wands and other Cursed Artifacts

Bubble Wands and Other Cursed Artifacts

January 23, 2024

I’m wrapping up the trilogy of articles on our December trip. It’s a long one, but I had to get it all out there. An adult only trip to Walt Disney World always looks different than a family trip. I love my kids, but if given the choice, I wouldn’t take any of them to WDW anymore. The cost alone of a family trip is prohibitive to doing Disney the way Brandi and I like to do Disney. Plus, the general lack of appreciation leaves a foul taste in my mouth. Seriously, those ungrateful heathens tater my tots (sorry, “potato barrels”) sometimes. Honestly, their apathy and lack of enthusiasm for being in the most magical place on earth can harsh my buzz. So naturally, we were pretty excited for this Christmas adult only trip.

I will skip over the resort hopping and party information as I have already covered those things in detail in earlier articles, but I want to give my overall impression of our trip and cover a ton of first time activities and attractions. If you want to skip over then entire trip report and get to the shenanigans you’re used to getting from me, you can go down to “Other Thoughts and Opinions”.

For us, the sweet spot for visiting WDW during the holidays is the first week of December. You get a fully decorated vacation destination, the “lull” in holiday crowds between Thanksgiving and the two weeks leading up to Christmas, and pretty great weather. This trip hit on all three of those cylinders. Although I think the secret is out about the crowd level during this week. It was definitely busier than the last few times we have visited during this period, but it was still manageable. Since our couple only trips aren’t attraction heavy, we did without Genie+ and were happy with the results. We employed the normal strategies to maximize time in the parks when we needed to, but overall we took a much more relaxed approach to touring.

After checking in at All Star Music (and our room was ready at 9 AM!!), we spent our arrival day touring the monorail resorts and checking out the gingerbread houses, lunch at Capt. Cooks, and a first time visit to Trader Sam’s Grog Grotto. We enjoyed the show that came with ordering the “Uh Oa”, but I feel like this lounge would be more enjoyable with a larger group. We then hopped a Magic Kingdom bus to Coronado Springs for dinner at Three Bridges Bar and Grill. The food was excellent, as was the Sangria flight. We did one final cocktail up at Dahlia Lounge and soaked in that stunning view from the outdoor terrace on the 16th floor of Gran Destino Tower. We employed the “first park bus that shows up, we’re getting on” method and wound up at EPCOT to then hop a bus back to Music. It was a busy and fun arrival day. 

The next morning we took our luggage to Bell Services for transfer to the Dolphin and hopped a bus for Magic Kingdom rope-drop. We had MVMCP that evening, but we wanted to take advantage of the “slower Magic Kingdom on party days” phenomenon. The strategy paid off and we experienced very mild crowds. While it wasn’t our first time, we did Hall of Presidents for the first time since 2019. We visited the Country Bears, we saw the Hatbox Ghost on his first day, and then Brandi did Tron for the first time ever.

We left at lunch time and took a bus to the Boardwalk and did lunch at the Boardwalk Deli. I highly recommend the Reuben. It was huge and sharable. We then went to the Dolphin to check-in. Not only was our room ready, but our luggage was already there! Two for two on rooms being ready before 3 PM. After settling in and enjoying the balcony view for a few minutes we went down to the Crescent Lake area and resort hopped there to see their gingerbread displays. We then headed to Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party. That was one LONG day.

The next day we went to Hollywood Studios. We did a few attractions and had lunch at Docking Bay 7. It was okay, but probably a one-and-done for us. We saw Beauty and the Beast Live on Stage for the first time, and we were both uber impressed. The choreography was excellent for that show. After hitting up BaseLine Tap House, we hopped the Skyliner back to International Gateway and then back to the Boardwalk. We had a drink at Abracadabar and decided to get some dinner at the Boardwalk Pizza Window. After being quoted a 5 minute wait, we proceeded to wait 46 minutes for two slices of pizza, so that was definitely another one-and-done. The pizza was okay, but not worth a 45 minute wait.

Even though our original plans were to head back to the Studios, we instead decided to walk into EPCOT and knock out most of Future World (or World Finance, or World Domination, or whatever they’re calling it now) so we could concentrate on World Showcase the next day. We did most of the attractions at the front of the park, including Journey of Water at night, and then took a boat back to the Dolphin to enjoy the fireworks from our balcony.

Day four was EPCOT day and we rope-dropped Les Halles for breakfast. We even found a table inside, so fortune was certainly on our side. We started a slow and steady tour of the World Showcase, complete with food and beverages from the Festival of the Holidays booths. We also got to enjoy a few of the Holiday Storytellers. We saw the UK storyteller, the Norway one, the Christmas witch in Italy, and the Hanukkah storyteller. He was incredible! We had a virtual queue for Guardians and did that as well.

It was a bit rainy that day, so we bailed on EPCOT early and headed to the Springs. We had Earl of Sandwich for dinner and then hopped the bus back to the Dolphin and once again watched the nighttime spectacular from our balcony. That view was SOOOO good!

The next day we took our luggage to bell services and had it transferred to Caribbean Beach and then hopped a bus to Animal Kingdom. We didn’t do a whole lot at the park. We did the safari, lunch at Satu’li Canteen, and also did Finding Nemo: The Big Blue…and Beyond. We had never done this show either and once again, we were so happy to have given it a chance. There are some seriously talented stage actors at Walt Disney World! We grabbed a bus to Caribbean Beach at 1:30 PM or so and… SURPRISE SURPRISE… our room was ready again! Three for three!! We settled in and relaxed for a bit and then headed up to Banana Cabana for a drink before dinner at Sebastian’s Bistro.  After dinner, we hopped the Skyliner to attend Disney’s Jollywood Nights party.

We got everything packed up the next morning and after checking everything in with bell services, we headed to Disney Springs for an early lunch at Morimoto Asia. The Buri-bop was excellent! Brandi enjoyed her Bento box as well. We then went back to get our bags and headed to MCO for our flight.

First time events, attractions, shows, and eats:

There were a lot of first time things for us. All three resorts were new to us. Both Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party and Disney’s Jollywood Nights parties were first time events for us. Attractions that were new to us were Alien Swirling Saucers, Tomorrowland Speedway, Beauty and the Beast Live on Stage, Finding Nemo: The Big Blue…and Beyond, Canada Far & Wide, and Tron: Lightcycle Run (for Brandi). New restaurants or lounges were Sebastian’s Bistro, Boardwalk Deli, Boardwalk Pizza Window, Docking Bay 7, Baseline Tap House, Morimoto Asia, Les Halles Boulangerie-Patisserie, and Trader Sam’s Grog Grotto.

Other thoughts and opinions:

There is a variation in a group of olfactory-receptor genes that allow some people to strongly perceive the soapy-flavored aldehydes in cilantro. As cilantro is one of my favorite herbs, I am grateful I am not one those affected by this occurrence. However, I was starting to think that I had a different gene anomaly that made all Walt Disney World beverages, alcoholic or not, taste like soap. It seemed that every drink I would obtain had a slight soapy flavor. Then I discovered the cause.

Bubble wands.

After watching 10 or 12 of these nefarious bubbles burst into my drink, I became irrationally furious. I was ready to email my congressman. I was starting an on-line petition. I was going to filibuster the Supreme Court until bubble wands were outlawed and perpetrators were prosecuted to the full extent of the law. I wanted hard labor for those people. They needed to be breaking up rocks in the yard. Three squares a day and gambling with cigarettes.

Then I saw a child in a stroller having a meltdown at Animal Kingdom. You know the kind of meltdown I’m talking about: Freddy Mercury type of lungs with a six octave range that goes from annoying to brain hemorrhaging in thirteen seconds. We were in line at the safari (our longest wait of the entire trip at 55 minutes), and I was thinking we might have to dip out of line because of the sheer volume of primal screeching. However, the parents produced a bubble wand, and the savage beast was soothed. The wand went from “worse than Astro Orbiter’s elevators” to “miracle life-giving elixir of magic stick” really quickly!

Disney World resort pillows are trash. Hot, steaming, putrid garbage. The beds at the Dolphin were noticeable nicer than the WDW resort beds, and their pillows were significantly better as well. But the pillows at the Disney-owned resorts are vile. Mousekeeping certainly can’t be blamed for being stingy, as they give you five pillows per square foot of bed. However, getting a “whole lot” of turds doesn’t stop them from being turds. Absolute swill.

I still stand behind my assertation that Hollywood Studios is the best Christmas park. At Magic Kingdom, Main Street is magical, but only Main Street. EPCOT is cool, but far from heavily themed for the holidays. Animal Kingdom has some very understated décor but is not overly Christmasy. The Studios definitely win. Décor, ambiance, music, all of it. It is just the superior holiday park.

That first week of December is still our favorite hands-down. It isn’t looking promising for a December trip this year, but we will be looking at 2025 for certain. What is your favorite week of the year?