10/19/22

Behind the Velvet Rope of a Fanatic

October 19, 2022

This article is the story of two pills. If you take the blue pill, the story ends, you exit out of this website right now, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. If you take the Rose Gold pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Choose wisely, because if you thought my “geek” ran deep before, you are in for a shock. It is the reason I don’t normally attend any parties to which I am invited: I’m always afraid it’s an intervention. I scrub my browser history more thoroughly than a 17 year old boy. I hide the fanaticism fairly well, but today you’re getting a peek into the madness.

Welcome foolish mortals.

If you’re reading this article, you obviously have a touch of the infatuation as well. People without an enthusiasm for the Disney parks aren’t scouring the web for snarky, opinionated, Disney drivel, but here you are. We all share differing degrees of passion. Some are planners extraordinaire and planning WDW trips certainly scratches that itch since you need degrees in computer science and accounting to be proficient at it. Some are just ride-junkies. Disney creates some of the most immersive and cerebral attractions in the world, so there is a place in our fandom for them as well. We have a smattering of foodies, and let’s not kid ourselves, food IS an attraction at Walt Disney World. Our community is a cornucopia of fans, all of them with different fortes.

But there are a few. A coterie. A fellowship if you will, that simply take everything too far. We’re normally careful as not to allow our slip to show, but we do roam the earth, hidden in plain sight.  We’re just wired differently. We find something that makes us happy, gives us a deep satisfaction, or sparks our creative juices and frankly, become obnoxious with it. We know it, which is why we hide it. However, I’m here to pull the curtain back a bit.

This won’t be a deep dive. Only a small percentage would be able to handle the full monte with their mind still intact. I’m sure there are many (well, the 4 or 5 people who actually read this trash) that think I’m exaggerating. I’ve certainly been known to embellish and amplify the facts. USE HYPERBOLE?! WHO ME?! And maybe I’m gilding the lily, but not by much.

Okay, so let’s get the rookie moves out of the way. Sure, I do the normal things all of us superfans do to keep the Magic alive in our regular lives. I listen to Disney park music. I love my background loops! I listen to my Disney podcasts. I am on WAY too many Disney Facebook groups. I am a travel advisor that specializes in Disney trips. I wear the WDW shirts, watches, socks, and hats. I check wait times whilst 800 miles away. I plan trips and get all the way to the check-out page and then empty the basket because I have $34 in my checking account. I burn my Magic Candle Company wax melts at work and at home. I read online menus for WDW restaurants and then watch fifteen YouTube reviews for said restaurant before I even consider booking an ADR for my next trip. You know, all the normal geeky stuff.

When I do have a trip coming up, I over-plan. I don’t just do a spreadsheet though. I create my itinerary in EXCEL, schedule calendar invites with alerts on both my Outlook and my Google calendar complete with ADR reservation numbers and restaurant phone numbers. My agenda is saved into Touring Plans, also with all reservation numbers, and with room requests submitted. Fourteen days before the trip I fax (that’s right I said FAX) my room request to the resort with a fabricated story about that room having sentimental value. I research all of the most current LYFT rates to and from the airport, calculate my budget for ride shares and start loading money into my LYFT app, always with enough extra to accommodate a few unplanned trips. I plan trips around Internet strangers’ trips because they have become closer friends than I have at home.

I have Google Earth Pro installed on my work desktop and update it frequently, just hoping to get some fairly current street view shots from the parks. I peruse the DVC resale market daily looking for great deals on Disney Vacation Club contracts that I know I can’t purchase. Three years ago I charted wait times five times daily for three months to see trends, low volume periods, peaks, and monthly trends. I gathered my information from the MDE app, Touring Plans, and Laughingplace.com and combined them for an average. I have a binder that includes color photos, information, and current pricing for each resort on property.